Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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