You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
