forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
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