butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
