HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
