I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
