I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
A bitchslap is in order.
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