Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
