my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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