You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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