I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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