No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
