Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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