P.S. I can't hear my feet
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
