No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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