I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
