So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
