My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
