This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
