Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
