That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
