Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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