He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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