so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
