He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
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He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
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I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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