At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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