I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
