Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
