So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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