I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
