Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Four minutes until I can fart!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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