When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
