Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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