i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
