It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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