: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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