whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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