He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
