So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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