I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
