She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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