I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
