I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
