HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
