remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass