You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.