I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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