they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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