We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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