Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
