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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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