lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
