That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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