Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
