You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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