Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Shame - the story of my life.
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