If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
