addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
