wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You may now shotgun with the bride
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
