And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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