My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
