Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
