The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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