he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
