Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
